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    Tuesday
    Oct022007

    Everybody Sue Bill Tonight

    Bellichick%20Helmet.jpgCalling all lawyers! It’s time to don your tweed jackets and descend upon the NFL! A new breakthrough in suer-dom (sewerdom?) has the potential to line your pockets with millions of dollars in NFL cash. Carl Meyer, a resident of Princeton Township, N.J., has filed a $184 million class-action lawsuit in the U.S. District Court in Newark against Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots. Meyer is a season ticket holder for the N.Y. Jets (which explains a lot) and he is claiming that Belichick “deceived customers” when he chose to video-tape Jets coaches on the sidelines in the Week 1 game between the Patriots and the Jets. “They violated the integrity of the game,” Meyer’s attorney, Bruce Afran, was quoted as saying. “This is a way of punishing Bill Belichick.” It’s not clear if there will be a countersuit filed against Meyer and Afran for violating the integrity of the law, but one thing’s for certain: this sets a whole new standard in the entertainment industry. Spend $10 on a Will Ferrell movie only to find it moronic and unfunny? Sue the bastards who filmed it! Pay $200 for Rolling Stones concert tickets only to fall ill from Mick Jagger’s grating voice and ghastly white chicken legs? File a class-action lawsuit! Invest in a $2,000 Shea Stadium playoff extravaganza only to watch the Mets fall flat on their face in the last week of the regular season? It is your civic obligation to file suit and punish the offenders for deceiving you! Attorney Alcorn says, “You can’t deceive customers!” Right on, Bruce! Everybody sue, sue, sue!

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