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    Wednesday
    Feb142007

    Shallow Hals and Gold-Digging Gals

    cupid.gifI was sitting down this morning watching the Today show, having been snowed in from going to work by the weather (it doesn't take much). They were running a feature story about a company called "Pocket Change" that was coordinating a Speed Dating service between rich men and beautiful women. The minimum requirements for men to enter this exclusive event was $250 K annual salary if you're under 25 (frat boys need not apply), $350 K if you're between 25 and 40, I think (I'm a little fuzzy here, it's still early) and if you're over 40, then you gotta be pulling in a minimum of a half million a year (the extra cash is compensation for your limp libidos and pot belly stoves). Ladies, you just have to be HOT, and a pair of bodacious tata's aren't going to hurt either, but in any event you'll need to submit a portfolio (with a photo spread) along with your application (pedigree history optional, of course). If accepted, you'll be showcased before 40 men with a combined net worth greater than the GNP of Somalia, and if you play your cards right you'll be driving that convertible Lexus you're been eyeballing by springtime. If you don't make the cut, then it's back to the grimy dance clubs and seedy personal ads for you! I was actually thinking about applying to Pocket Change and using the royalties I receive from this blog site as a basis for my annual income, but I noticed on the application that there was a $150 K surcharge for all males with a propensity for emitting offensive body noises, and I just can't swing that kind of cash right now. Plus, I'm already married, although in the Jet Set world that probably doesn't matter much. Seriously, I'm not a big advocate for the illegal use of fireworks, but if I walked by the restaurant where Pocket Change was holding their event, I might be inclined to toss a couple of stink bombs inside. Fellas, be sure to grab your checkbooks and Blackberries as you head to the exit doors, and ladies, please leave your signed Pre-nups with the maitre d' on the way out!

    Happy Valentine's Day!

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      Response: Ultram er.
      Ultram.

    Reader Comments (2)

    Joey:

    I love it. I hope there are other snow days so you can watch TV and write.
    Feb 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJim
    If only I could be so lucky!!!
    Feb 17, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjoeydee

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