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    Tuna Swims with the Dolphins

    Parcells.jpgMiami Dolphins fans rejoice, for Christmas has come early this year! After defeating the Baltimore Ravens in a thrilling OT game to snap a 16-game losing streak dating all the way back to the 2006 departure of Nick Satan, (excuse me, Nick Saban), things are finally looking up for the Fish. The big news this week was the signing of ex-Cowboys/Jets/Patriots/Giants head coach Bill Parcells to a 4-year deal as Executive Vice President of Football Operations for the Dolphins, giving him the power to do everything from coordinating the draft and hiring coaches to dressing up as T.D. the Dolphins’ mascot if need be. The deal was contingent on status of owner Wayne Huzienga, who had been entertaining negotiations for the sale of the team at a price of $1.1 billion, but who has since rededicated himself to the pursuit of a Super Bowl trophy with Parcells at his side. Here in Connecticut, the news is being reported with lukewarm enthusiasm by the local TV sportscasters (a.k.a. Patriots fans in neckties), but if you look real close you can see their lower lips quivering. They’re scared silly. And if you Boston Crème Pies are wading off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard with the Kennedys this summer and you suddenly find yourself surrounded by fins in the Brady_Bunch_2.JPGwater, you’d better hope they’re just sharks and not a swarm of angry dolphins and one Big Tuna. The Fish are plenty mad, and you’ll get a taste for what’s in store for you this Sunday when they ride into Foxboro with Don Shula and the undefeated ’72 Dolphins on their backs to send the Brady Bunch whimpering back home to Alice. Send the alarm, Paul Revere, it’s two if by sea, and it’s not safe to go in the water anymore!!!

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